Towards the end of the semester everything was going wrong. No one was getting along and everyone just wanted to go home which is understandable. I thought when I got home that everything would be so much better. I mean I was going to be with the people I love the most. Looks like I was wrong. Everything is so messed up. And it has been for a while but I just didn't notice as much since I was away from home for the year at school. Now that I am back home I can't wait to go back to college and get away from everything.
The first problem is definitely not having a job and not being able to find one. I have gone around picking up applications, filling them out, and then dropping them off. What does that get me? NOTHING!! It makes me so mad! It was nice being able to relax for a few days and not have anything to worry about but now I need something to occupy my time! I can't stand being here at home all the time. It is driving me nuts! So as soon as I find a job that will relieve a lot of stress..
All of these frustrations are just getting to me that I have such a hard time. I have been on the brink of tears ever since I've been home. Its been that or so angry that I just want to punch something. I wish I had somewhere to run to. Somewhere to go to escape it all. Or someone to run to. I have Ammaron but I have to wait for his letters and I always feel like I am burdening him with all my problems. He says its not a burden, I just can't help but think that. I miss him so much. I can't wait for the day that he comes back and that I can just give him a huge hug. That boy has helped me in so many ways. I know he came into my life for a reason.
Hopefully these problems will be resolved so that I can go back to enjoying life. I just need to have patience and keep turning to the Lord for help. Through him, anything is possible.
