One Year

Its been one year...

All I can think about today is what happened this day last year.

It was the day I could not stop crying.

It was the day I wish never happened.

It was the day the Search & Rescue finally found Landon's body.

It was the day I knew he was really gone.

My cousin... gone. Just like that. I didn't have a chance to say goodbye and tell him just how much I really loved him and how I wanted to get to know him better. That chance is gone. I know that once he had made up his mind of what he was going to do there was no changing that. But there is still the doubt in my mind that I could have done something to make him want to live and stay with us longer.

I know Landon is in a better place. It doesn't make it easier on the fact that he's gone. How many times I've cried myself to sleep because all I could think about was him, how many times I've prayed to Heavenly Father to help me get through this hard time. And yet I know that Landon has been aware of all of our feelings and has been with us. That fact that he knew I was struggling so much and that I had kept wishing I could have something as a reminder of him and how Aunt Debi showed up one day just to give me the note... I know that Landon has been watching over me and knew what I needed to help ease the pain a little.

Landon, I miss you everyday!! I see the note on my nightstand and just always am reminded of you. I am so happy to know that one day I will be able to see you again and get to know you better. Its been a difficult year, but it just means I am one year closer to seeing you again.  I love you Landy!

You will be in my thoughts forever!